im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
