i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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