Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
