office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
