That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
