so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
