There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
