He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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