At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
