I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
