So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
