I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
