is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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