She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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