; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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