i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
