Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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