this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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