After last night, I could never be a politician.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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