dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
