He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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