i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
