like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
