dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
