Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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