Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
