just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
