No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
