Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Did I show you my penis last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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