There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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