Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She tied me up with her honor cords...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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