She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
