My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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