Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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