Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
