playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
