Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
