I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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