Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
