ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
