Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
