Who wears a wallet chain?!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
