Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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