Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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