they need to just BURY HIM!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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