Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I met the friendliest cop last night
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
