so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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