u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
