apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
