biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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